Your focus, is it helping or hindering?
Did you ever notice how it feels when you tell a story about something negative that happened to you?
Does it feel like you are experiencing it all over again with the same emotional and physical feelings? Do you get all riled up again every time you tell it?
If the answer is yes, then you would be correct. Every time we repeat it, it’s like it’s happening to us all over again, and sometimes it can feel worse than it felt the first time around.
Let’s take for example if you have a disagreement with your teenage daughter in the morning before you go to work. Then when you get to work, you tell your work friend about it, the same tension, frustration, and even anger come back to the surface. If you do that a couple of more times that day, you will be revisiting those difficult feelings repeatedly.
If you are paying attention, you will notice that when you go home and see your daughter at the end of the day, all of that negativity is likely still lingering with you. The reason, you ask… it’s because it received your energy all day long and the negative emotions that go with the event get bigger and stronger.
Now same situation, example #2, after the disagreement you go to work, and you tell a work friend about it. But this time, you finish with a positive focus. If you do this, you will see a much different end to your day. So, you can tell the story, but for your own peace of mind and emotional wellness, finish with the good, such as, “You know she really is a great kid, and I love her very much. We're all just trying to figure our lives out during this crazy time. I’m so glad she’s mine and can’t wait to see her at the end of the day.”
Now, when you go home, you have focused on what is true most of the time instead of the one instance that created difficulty for you. It makes you healthier happier and definitely contributes to better, stronger relationships!
Give it a try. It works with your spouse, your co-worker, your children and, yes, even your parents. We all have a choice about where we spend our time. Where will you spend yours?
PS: I'm very excited to share that there will be an online course available in January 2022 which will provide tools and support for emotional wellness. Stay tuned for more information in the coming weeks!
“I have seen firsthand the transformative impact she has on her clients in the areas of mental health, overcoming barriers to employment, and tapping into your true potential. Cathy is results-driven and this is reflected in the initiatives that she takes on.”
- N.T.
Whether you are looking to get closer to your goals, improve your emotional intelligence, advance your career, or grow and expand your business, I can help.
“I have seen firsthand the transformative impact she has on her clients in the areas of mental health, overcoming barriers to employment, and tapping into your true potential. Cathy is results-driven and this is reflected in the initiatives that she takes on.”
- N.T.
Whether you are looking to get closer to your goals, improve your emotional intelligence, advance your career, or grow and expand your business, I can help.