Cultivate Positive Relationships (Part 1)
How can Emotional Fitness help you Cultivate Positive Relationships?
As we continue on our journey to Emotional Fitness and personal growth, let’s take a moment to consider the profound impact this topic has on our relationships. Whether it’s with friends, family or colleagues, the quality of our connections significantly influences our overall well-being. This month, let’s delve into how, cultivating Emotional Fitness can enrich and strengthen our relationships.
This is a big topic so I’m splitting into several parts, stay tuned next month for part 2!
Understanding Emotional Fitness
Emotional Fitness isn’t just about managing emotions; it’s about developing resilience, empathy and self-awareness. It’s the ability to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and compassion, both towards ourselves and others. When we are emotionally fit, we are better equipped to communicate effectively, handle conflicts constructively, and foster deeper connections.
But knowing and doing are two very different things, which is why we need really great tools; follow along and I’ll provide a couple of tidbits of information and then follow that up with some great practical applications tips for success.
The Power of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of Emotional Fitness; by understanding our own emotions, triggers and behaviour patterns, we can respond intentionally rather than impulsively in challenging situations.
Some great options for developing self-awareness are using tools; Introspection, Journaling and Meditation are all great examples. They are wonderful for regaining balance, and processing the activities of the day; but these tools are used after something has happened and are not so useful in the moment. When we talk about navigating life’s ups and downs, we need tools that are proactive and can be applied in the moment.
Japanese Psychology utilizes the concept of "you can’t trust your thoughts and feelings", to help us navigate "in the moment" challenges. But wait… what? Can that be a true statement? Many people struggle with this ideology, because it’s a little scary to consider, but stay with me and I’ll explain how this works.
Challenges with interpersonal relationships can occur for the following reasons:
When we make assumptions about the things we see and hear from our loved ones
When expectations are mismanaged
When we take things personally because of our own insecurities, we may then take it out on our loved ones
When we hear the voice of self-doubt, anger, guilt, worry and fear. This often happens when we focus on things in the past that cannot be changed or try to solve future challenges and control outcomes that haven’t happened yet. All of this can cause us to work ourselves into an emotional frenzy, where we say and do things that we normally wouldn’t.
These are the kinds of thoughts and feelings that cannot be trusted. But we do trust in and believe them every day without question. Sometimes we even take action and say/do things based on these thoughts…. and, by the way, not usually positive actions.
So how do we put the brakes on?
Today, I encourage you to do two things;
Use the skill of Attention to watch for those thoughts and feelings that are negative. You have to be vigilant because they are very sneaky and can rise up, almost out of nowhere.
Don’t accept those thoughts as true; question them… ask "Is this true?" and consider what your rational brain knows about this person or event, that would show these thoughts to be untrue. This will prevent you from doing things with those thoughts, that later, will only compound the negative feelings listed above.
If the thoughts above are the thoughts you can’t trust, then what can you trust? Here’s a great starting list:
When your thoughts are in support of, or in service to, yourself or others,
When they benefit a person, place or thing,
When they support the growth and development of others and
When they nurture those beautiful relationships with love, kindness and empathy
These are the thoughts and feelings you can trust and take action on. They will always have good results; you will always feel better when you participate from this perspective and they will absolutely build trust and respect with those who you are closest to, and who are most important to you.
These tools we speak of above, don’t only build positive relationships and provide you with peace of mind, they build your Emotional Fitness and Self-Command.
Let’s meet back here next month for more tips and tools on Emotional Fitness and we’ll uncover the meaning of Self-Command!
